|
19th
Hole for Gossip!
|
I need some gossip! Come on ladies - we've got
a reputation to maintain, email
me with what you've heard in the locker room.
| "Woman
with Balls" |
In
response to a competition to win some silver ball markers
inscribed with "Woman with Balls", I received some
great emails in answer to the question I gave my subscribers
"Why do you think you should win these ball markers?"
They were the prize for the month of May - see Sign
In page to subscribe.
Here is the winner's email, followed by a selection of the
next best responses:
|
|
..........Just
received your e-mail and thought you would like to hear about
a friend of mine who is feeling a bit below par. In January
she started with what was thought to be a heavy cold and the
doctor's response was some asprin which seemed to clear things.
Three weeks later, she again came down with similar symptoms
but more severe, a course of antibiotics was given. Again
the symptoms seemed to clear.
A month later after feeling very under the weather she was
given yet another course of antibotics. This did nothing,
and in fact a week later was rushed into hospital with 2 perforated
ear drums, severe head pain, inflamed and infected lungs,
throat and generally very under the weather.
Since the beginning of April she has been back and forth to
the hopsital enduring many tests to be recently told that
something is killing off her anti-bodies. Go back to the gym,
fight it and they will try to find out what it is.
She had started to make a mini recovery over the past few
weeks, but has had a set back now as the lymph nodes in her
neck have become infected. In fact Audrey had decided to play
golf today for the first time to try and 'get back'.
If you would like your ball markers to go to a good home,
and give her a bit of a lift, it would be great. From Elaine
Battista-Cianfarani.
|
............My
husband takes great delight in using this particular phrase
whenever I "temporarily mislay" a ball. He always
says that women were born without balls for a reason, and
a higher power is just making sure that this remains the case.
He then loudly announces that I have no balls, much to the
amusement of all around! From Susan
Greenfield
|
| .........One
of our lady members was involved in a very nasty car accident
4 years ago, she was the very innocent party, she was in hospital
for several months when the doctors had to cut, stitch, sew
and fit several metal parts to her limbs. The doctors felt
that she was extremely lucky to be alive and should be able
to walk with an aid, she proved them all wrong! She is now
back to playing golf can walk for a few holes but in her customised
buggy can hit a real mean shot. To be able to do this I think
she is a woman with 'balls' and would love to be able to give
her the ball marker. From Rowena
Liles, Lady Captain Palleg Golf Club. |
.......As
a female in this world you have to 'have balls' to get anywhere
and as I have been a single mum for 11 years I have maintained
my career (even obtaining a promotion), my family - myself
and my daughter (11yrs), my house. So many times I could have
found an excuse to give it up and just go with the flow but
my sense of moral duty (from 9 yrs in the RAF) and pride (balls)
has made me continue. I have studied as well as worked full
time from when my daughter was 5 yrs towards a law degree.
Would you believe that having done all this I still get attacks
from people calling me a bad mother on the basis that I work
and don't stay at home 24/7. Do not fear - the people concerned
do not have kids or even decent jobs. My daughter is happy
and content. I along with my daughter wish to learn golf together
as I do spend enough time away from her and as they say people
that do things together stay together. I think - the women
have balls motto - sums up everything a woman has to do and
put up with just to maintain an even keal with men in this
world. I am that woman. Help me show everyone. From Donna
Moore
|
...........Well
women with balls certainly describes a lot of the ladies I
play with. I am a mere youngster at sixty because the group
I play with regularly range from people in their sixties and
upwards to a lady in her nineties, now that takes balls to
carry on with the up and downs of golf when most ladies
have trouble coping with every day life. You wouldn't believe
their age. Abbie is 76 and arrives at the golf immaculately
turned out putting us all to shame, they all love their golf
and unlike the men we very rarely lose our tempers or our
balls. From Karen Lebentz
|
|
This
woman is just breaking into golf,
Scandalously self-promoting herself,
Up against fellas - the 'Kings of the Green,'
Well watch out guys here comes 'the Queen,'
With two feisty boys and a man at home,
This woman has balls of her very own!
From Sarah-Jayne Windridge-France
|
........I
am about to embark on yet another house move (county move),
as him indoors has got himself a new job, albeit, a lovely
postion as a general manager of a golf club, (not that I will
see him a great deal). This is a totally life changing postion
for him, as he at the moment works for the NHS. Still, its
up sticks once again (we have been married 32 years) in that
time I have had over 25 house moves, (you think I would be
used to it by now). Just as my handicap is starting to come
down, will have to get used to a new course, (links course),
so totally different ball game from the one I play now. So
hope you will consider me worthy, as would like to make a
statement, that I'm a woman with balls, as, new course, new
house (new job for me as well), new county, new life. From
Liz Wilson.
|
| This
calls for a caption! |
 |
"Watch out - there's a bear behind!"
"I wonder if they gave him a "gimme" putt??!!"
"You'll bearly believe your eyes with this story"
(submitted by Sally McRobert, from Australia)
Any more suggestions for a caption?? |
|
| Dear
Friends |
|
Many
of you may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last
2 years putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book. I am very
proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I
am asking friends and family to assist.
I
have just finished my new book on golf that I believe gives the
reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have
gained through my years of experience. The book is only £69.95
and can be ordered by simply emailing me with the appropriate credit
card information.
Don't wait until they're all gone !!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Dunlop from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist
from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 5 - How to Ignore the Ranger when taking time to Apply your
Lipstick
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for drinking Gin and Tonic Before 12
noon.
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in
the Water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Husband Doesn't Care That You Birdied the
5th
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 18 - Rules Interpretation: "Loss of Ball is Penalty
Enough....."
|
| Golf,
Mum's the Word - Julie Goyder explains |
There's
something about golf that transforms adults into children. When I
miss the ball completely, for instance, I feel a little tearful.
But
not my mother. Mother never cried. Never. Even when the family Christmas
tree burnt the fairy into a frazzle, she remained unperturbed. Her
lesson was always to be stoic in the face of adversity. She had faults.
But she had never seen them. Until she took up golf. |
|
|
At first, I thought the problems that surfaced must be part of some
deeper, psychological, unresolved childhood issue. And, in fact,
it took me quite a while to realise that her mind-blowing, off -the-pendulum
mood swings invariably occurred after this new game she'd discovered.
Golf.
It was true. Distraught, elated, devastated, embarrassed, defeated
and triumphant. The whole lot of them and often all at once. Dinner?
Forget it. There was no way that she was cooking.
I think the defining moment came when I got home, one evening, to
find her lying curled into the foetal position on her bed. I knew,
with a sense of shock that somebody must have died. Or some other
terrible thing must have happened because I'd never seen her like
this before.
"Mother, what's wrong?" I asked, alarmed, coming close
to her, then edging away, frightened of her terrible silence. It
was clearly going to take forever for her to reply so I went to
find a hanky for her, in case she cried - but mother never cries.
Oddly enough, the thought of her actualy shedding tears made me
quite happy, but I tried to suppress that one.
Eventually, she sat up and smiled wanly. It was clearly very bad
news.
"I played really badly today" she said, shakily.
"You mean golf?" I said, stupidly.
Her eyes filled with tears. I watched, mesmerised, fascinated, as
they trickled down her cheeks. I rushed to embrace her. Almost by
way of congratulations. There is, after all, a first time for everything.
She disintegrated into childish sobs and I held her, wondering how
such enormous waves of emotion could waterfall out of a rock like
my mother.
Julie Goyder is a freelance writer and
writes regularly for World Golfer (read another of her humerous
articles in the December issue of the magazine). Julie
would welcome the chance to write for other golfing magazines.
Julie also writes for a parenting magazine - her son had his first
golf lesson recently - and the instructor? Julie's mother!
If you would like Julie to write for you click
here to send her an email.
|
| Judge
says: No Women, No Stout! |
A
court in Ireland ruled recently that unless the Portmarnock Golf Club
outside of Dublin changes its no-women-members-allowed policy, it
will lose its drinks licence for a week and then perhaps for a longer
period.
Bolstered by a law established in 2000, the Irish Equality Authority
challenged Portmarnock's practice and might be making more headway
than Martha Burk did with a similar cause at Augusta National in 2003.
It will apparently depend on how deeply the club's 1200
members cherish their 19th hole pint of Guinness. The
Portmarnock Golf Club is host to the Irish Open and one of a handful
of clubs, described by Dublin lawmaker Fiona O'Malley as "dinosaur-like
institutions", to retain a men-only rule.
(Taken from Different Strokes - The Golfhelp newsletter.)
|
| Here
are some photos: |
I
think that's a little harsh!
(Thanks
to Sheila Black for emailing me this photo)
|
|
Strange,
but
I can't think of a suitable caption for
this photo!!!
Email me
if you can think of one.
*********
A
couple of suggested captions have been emailed from Bob Boulton
of Rotanet (see links page)
"It's
all in my grip!"
or
"Do I get batteries with this!"
*******
Two more captions from Don Lilley:
"The sooner I stop kissing this, the sooner it will fit in
my luggage!"
or
"I also won some balls!"
*********
Frances Kay's contribution is:
'Boy I can't wait to get you home!'
|
|
What
do you think of this picture ladies?!! Unfortunately I don't know
where this photo was taken - any ideas?
An excellent caption has been sent in by Wei-Hai Chu :
"Picture was taken at Augusta very recently, this is the
first step in allowing lady members there."
Brilliant!!
**********************
|
 |
Have
you got any similar photo's, especially relating to golfing ladies
- please email
them to me with a note of your name and any background information
and I will happily post them on my site.
|
|
